Emily.
Again? ” I asked my mom, completely not understanding what was going on.
“How come Riley isn’t in the car? “
I started yawning because my nerves were already running out and I was already in tears. She is terrified of the idea that Riley has evaporated somewhere. It was a really bad joke, and I was confused that at that moment I wouldn’t remember my own name. I was still in the position that he would appear somewhere from the corner of the next street with chicken in his muzzle, and then a smudge would rub against my leg.
When we got home, mom printed out Riley’s photos and had pictures printed with the inscription: Looking for a dog. It is a golden retriever and has a green collar. Under his photo, she also put the phone number and address of our place of residence in case anyone saw him. I sat down at the window and wondered how hard a day was without Riley. I have no one to catch up with and no one gives me stinging remarks, no one talks to me just in thoughts. And the worst part is that no one from this house feels the way I feel now. Usually my assistant professor was Riley, but now I have to do it myself. Loneliness does not bother me, it bothers me when I do not feel confident that someone is standing by me, someone who understands me like no one else. I can be alone in the house, it’s worse when I’m alone in my new world and, moreover, without Riley. I wiped a tear from my cheek with my hand. And then someone called. It subsided, but after a minute again.
“Emily… Em… i… Ly… ! “ an unfamiliar voice shouted at me.
Ben? Hugo? ” I asked in surprise, and I jumped off my chair and opened the door. I ran down the stairs like a whirlwind and someone was scratching.
“Emily, hello! Where is Riley, I can’t find her anywhere! Just don’t tell me he ran after that squirrel that splinters nuts on his window every day!”
“No, I’m not afraid the squirrel would have gotten tired of him a long time ago. I can’t find it. I thought he was somewhere near you, but daddy was there to see him and so my last hope was slowly extinguished…” I declared, remembering Riley.
Ben and Hugo and I discussed conspiracy theories about finding him and where he might be. I waved goodbye to them and then came back home. I folded my head in my hands and started crying.
Life without someone you are attached to is suddenly difficult without them. It will disappear before your eyes… and the memories of him will begin to blur with your tears like watercolors. That river of tears that you created out of immense sadness suddenly turns into a stormy waterfall that sweeps away all good memories and turns them into sad ones. You will only have one left, but you must not let it go downhill. She is the one who gives you even the slightest hope that the important being you care about somewhere else in the world is thinking of you, of exactly the same memory as has now run through your head. Riley is more than just a dog to me, more than just a being. I feel something like… Simply, when you are tied to someone by an unnameable bond, you cannot pronounce what it actually means to you. Tears were running down my face, but my last hope will not be swept away by a waterfall of tears. In my head, I created an image of a waterfall that tore down a small boat that trembles helplessly among sad memories. That strange boat is yellow in color and shows me a light – a bright memory that sails through a storm of dark and black-gray thoughts full of grief and sadness. Nothing will stop the boat. No obstacle. He carries himself as an astronaut in a weightless state. But something can stop her. It can either stop or help her. I imagine a sailor summoning her to himself with some incredible charm. The boat is a few meters from the mainland and also a few dangerous meters from the deadly waterfall that will crush it. I wonder where the vivid memory in the form of a boat will go? Will it turn into a dark stormy memory and perish among the rest? Or will he find his lost owner and collect all the gray memories and turn them into bright and bright ones?
Translated by artificial intelligence from original: Louisa Palffy -Oči iba pre neho
Chapter 21: Cosmonaut
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